Friday, October 26, 2012

The wonderful, beautiful school bus.

One of the things I have hated most about being obese are those moments where you realize you don't fit.  I didn't fit into the roller coaster at Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk last summer.  I didn't fit through the turnstile at Big 5 or at our local stadium.  I didn't fit in the seats at one of my local movie theaters.  It is soul crushing.  It can take me from a good mood to a bottomless pit of shame and self hatred in a second. 

As I have lost weight I have found that I am able to fit most things again.  I fit the movie theater seats last week.  I fit the turnstile at Big 5.  But none of those things can beat what happened today.

I chaperoned my daughters class field trip today.  I have not been able to do that before because I knew I couldn't fit on the bus, or walk more than a few steps at a time.  But today I did it.  I fit on the bus.  I EASILY fit on the bus.  I had to struggle not to cry like a fool in front of a bus full of 2nd graders.  I also walked quite a way during this trip and had no issues. I fit into the seats of the arena we went to....seats that I had not fit into several months ago when I had gone for another event with my husband.  I felt normal today.  I felt like any other parent enjoying a day with her child's class.  I didn't even think about my size most of the day.  I just enjoyed myself. 

So I just want to say that I love that yellow school bus.  I love everything it represents for me.  School buses rock!

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