The stall that broke the camels back.

I will be 9 weeks post op tomorrow.  In those 9 weeks I have had more stalled weeks than I have had loss weeks.  I stall for 2 weeks, lose for 3 days, stall for another 2 weeks.  I have been patient.  I have kept the faith.  I have looked on the bright side.  Now I am angry and sad and despondent.  I am frustrated. 

I follow my plan to the letter.  I do everything right.  I was thin in a past life, my body knows what thin is.  Why is this so hard?   Why do I feel like I am pushing forward as hard as I can and yet I am still being held back?  Why is it that some people seem to lose with such ease, at such a good steady pace?  Why did I have to be the one who lives in almost constant stall?

I know I am always the first person to jump in and tell people not to worry about stalls.  But this most recent stall of mine has broken me.  I can not look down and see 280 on that scale again.  I think I might set the damn scale on fire if it tells me even one more time that I am failing. This is supposed to be my honeymoon phase. This is supposed to be the time where things are easy, where weight loss is effortless.  This is no honeymoon. 

Now I am a hypocrite.  I am sitting here letting myself get worked up over a stall.