Becoming me

I was thin once.  I was fit.  I wasn't always fat, I wasn't always the person I became after getting fat.  I was someone else, someone I remember fondly.  I was this person before I became a mother and a wife, before life happened.

You see, I made the mistake of thinking that I would find that person again. I was reasonably sure that once I started losing weight I would start gaining that person back.  I looked forward to it.  I couldn't wait.  But I was wrong, so very very wrong. 

The fact is that I have grown past that person, beyond that person.  She was young, single, childless, fun, amazing.  She was a party girl, a friend, a terrific dancer.  She was full of life. I will remember her fondly.  But she isn't me.  I will never get to be THAT version of myself again. You know what?  I am ok with that. I have discovered that there is a new version of me being born.  There is this whole new me emerging that I haven't fully figured out yet.

This new Jennifer is a mother and a wife.  She isn't 21 anymore, but she looks good for 32. This Jennifer has a whole future ahead of her.  I have this opportunity to reinvent myself, to discover new things about myself.  I am so excited!  This isn't just a weight loss journey.  It is a life journey.  It is MY journey. 

I think at the core all of the big important truths about me are still there.  I am still loving, kind, and full of life. I still believe in the golden rule and always try to treat others as I would like to be treated.  But everything else that we are is made up of experiences, desires, drives.  Those things change us, they are changing me.  I am a work in progress.  I cant wait to see who I am in a year, in 5 years, in 10.  I am so glad that those of you reading this will get to discover that new person with me, that you will all get to grow with me.